Operation Byakushi
by Kitakana
Summary: Beginning to express an interest in the opposite sex, Yachiru scours the Gotei 13 for her perfect match. The 6th division Taicho seems like her best bet, but how can she ever succeed in making him fall for her? English translation and expansion/continuation of my French oneshot "L'Opération Byakushi."
1. The Seeking

**Chapter one**: **The seeking**

Word count: 1,270

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Bleach is not mine. Neither is Byakuya Kuchiki, however much I wish that that were the case. Ah well, at least I get to play with them a bit.

* * *

Surely one day, Yachiru thought to herself, I'll actually start to look older.

Physically, Yachiru had not changed since becoming a shinigami countless years ago. In fact, nothing appeared to have changed at all. She was still short with bright pink hair and rosy cheeks. She still expressed the same amount of enthusiasm in all of her endeavors. She still frequently rode around on Kenpachi's shoulder. She still sought out members of her own division willing to play with her. And of course she still loved candy and consumed it at every opportunity.

But for Yachiru, something was changing. Although it was unnoticeable physically or based on her conduct, she was no longer a little girl. She was beginning to feel that something was changing, she was growing up and she felt older mentally. Or at least, she was starting to. It wasn't that she wanted to be taller necessarily, it was just that she wanted her body to reflect her mental state, she wanted to look more mature.

The way her thoughts had been straying lately provided her with irrefutable proof that she was indeed growing up. She was starting to get all of the lewd jokes exchanges between members of the eleventh division. She knew what was going on between her taicho and the fourth division taicho, or at least she very strongly suspected based on the noises she heard at night. She watched how things were playing out between the tenth division taicho and his fukutaicho. Maybe whatever happened to him following his most recent growth spurt that made him give in to his fukutaicho was also happening to Yachiru. That could be it. Although Yachiru was actually slightly older, Whitey-Taicho seemed to be aging much more obviously. But whatever the source of these changes was, she couldn't deny that something was changing: Yachiru was starting to notice shinigami of the opposite sex.

Of their own accord, her eyes had recently taken to following shinigami men that she wouldn't have looked twice at before. She had heard that it was normal for people of her age to experience this, but for her, it was an entirely new phenomenon. Yachiru had also heard that it was during this period that one started searching for a significant other.

While she waited to grow up physically, she might as well entertain herself by thinking about who she could pursue later, or if she felt like it, who she could already start pursuing. She was old enough, it was just that her body had yet to reflect her age. Who should she go after? Yachiru decided to list all of the potential men she could think of who might possibly be right for her. She spent most of her time in the company of men, so this shouldn't be that difficult.

In her own division, she spent most of her time around Kenpachi, Ikkaku, and Yumichika. She ruled out Kenpachi straight away. He was family and anyways, he was already taken. Ikkaku was…not her type. Yes, she did enjoy gnawing on his head from time to time, but she felt more attracted to men with hair. And Yumichika? Well, he was certainly attractive enough, but she wasn't sure that he was attracted to women, so it probably wouldn't work. The rest of the men in the eleventh division would never survive a relationship with her; most of them didn't even last a few seconds when she decided to play with them.

Who else did she know who would survive a relationship with her? Who else could play with her without passing out after a few seconds? There weren't too many options within the Gotei 13; she would think about those outside of it first.

In the living world, there were Ichigo and his friends—definitely worthy of consideration. Ichigo would probably last at least a few hours while playing with her. But he was most likely already taken. (Unless of course Rukia was willing to share him. That could be interesting.) Ichigo's friends the Quincy and the Mexican would probably keep her entertained, but they lived too far from Soul Society and didn't visit often enough. It would never work. Yachiru decided it would be best just to stick to options within the Gotei 13.

Yachiru closed her eyes to concentrate. Who within the Gotei 13 would be a good option, who wouldn't bore her eventually? Which eligible man would last more than a few minutes when she decided to play with them? Probably just taichos and fukutaichos. Which division had a taicho or fukutaicho that would appeal to her? She pondered all of her options.

1st Division: No. Humorless old men who couldn't take a joke.

2nd Division: Ew, no.

3rd Division: Kira was way too timid for her. He couldn't hold is liquor and she'd be able to crush him too easily any time they played.

4th Division: The only men there were way too fragile.

5th Division: Worthless traitor.

6th Division: Renji could potentially be an option. His personality was interesting enough and Yachiru like teasing him about his tattoos or playing with his hair. But the last time that she had really played with him, he hadn't even lasted a minute. Maybe he would have gotten stronger since becoming a fukutaicho, but she wasn't sure. He would probably not be enough for her. And Byakushi? That might work. He frequently gave her candy, he reacted well to her teasing, he had a really fun koi pond, he was as pretty as she was, and she loved his hair (except for that unsightly kenseikan, that had to go, maybe she could arrange to have something happen to it). Maybe Byakushi would work for her, but maybe not. He was awfully serious all of the time.

7th Division. Yachiru liked dogs, but she wasn't sure it was legal to like them that way. So, no. And the fukutaicho was not even worth mentioning.

8th Division: No. An old alcoholic in flamboyant robes either too drunk or too enamored to see past his own fukutaicho.

9th Division: Hisagi…did not really appeal to her. Although he wasn't bad looking, he didn't like candy at all. But that 69 had to count for something. Maybe if she was really desperate…

10th Division: Already claimed :(

12th Division. No way in hell.

13th Division: Ukitake liked candy and in fact, he often provided it for her. He was always nice to her, he had a sense of humor, and he was fun to play with—when he wasn't sick. But he never reacted well to Yachiru's antics. His zanpakuto had desensitized him to all but the most extreme jokes and pranks. He was too calm for Yachiru, she needed someone much more lively.

According to her list, there wasn't anyone perfect for her. So she went back over the most promising. Between Renji, Byakushi, Hisagi, and Ukitaki, which one would be the best for her? Renji was too weak, Byakushi was too serious, Hisagi was too boring, and Ukitake was too imperturbable. Which of these traits would be the easiest to work with? Yachiru was cunning enough to crack through even the most serious of façades. So, she decided on Byakushi.

Yachiru smiled. Byakushi was rich, so he would always be able to buy her as much candy as she could want. Sure, he was too serious, but Yachiru had the means to remedy that. He was single and absolutely gorgeous. The more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea. She had picked the right person.

Let Operation Byakushi begin.

* * *

A/N: This story is loosely a translation of my oneshot "Opération Byakushi" from French to English. I originally wrote it as a challenge to myself—could I actually write a decent oneshot in my second language? Honestly, being certified to teach a language, even after having lived in France for a year, does not guarantee fluency and capability. So, I wrote this oneshot in French as a way of proving to myself that I could actually do it. Speaking of which, if anyone reading this speaks French even a little bit, please go read that (find it on my profile), it needs feedback and I'm curious about what people think of it. Seriously though, if you read French, please go read that right now, before reading the rest of this fic. *Shameless plug end*

Getting back to this version of the story. While writing this story in French, I kept thinking of phrases in English that expressed perfectly what I wanted to convey but that absolutely did not translate into French. So, instead of trying to wrangle untranslatable English phrases into French, I decided that I would just write a separate version of this story in English.

But as I began writing the English version after completing the French oneshot, more and more differences began to emerge. First of all, this version is quite a bit longer and will be told in approximately five or so chapters instead in a oneshot. Secondly, this story ends differently. It follows the French oneshot until near the end of the second chapter, where it deviates with the ending. After that, it's totally new material. So if you think that by reading the French version, you'll find out what happens in this story, sorry to disappoint, but you're just going to have to keep reading this version;)

Please let me know what you think of this story. I already have the next few chapters planned out, so I should be updating soon. Any feedback would be welcome.

Next chapter: Yachiru stalks her prey.

Until next time!  
-Kitakana


	2. The Stalking

**Chapter 2:** **The stalking**

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Bleach is not mine. Neither is Byakuya Kuchiki, however much I may wish that that were the case. Ah well, at least I get to play with them a bit.

* * *

It had been about two hours since Yachiru had decided that Byakuya Kuchiki would be her ideal match.

The next time that Yuchiru saw him was during a fukutaicho meeting. She wasn't sure why he was present at a fukutaicho meeting instead of Renji, but she wasn't going to complain. She was happy to see him.

"Byakushi!" She greeted him with enthusiasm. "I'm so happy see you here! After the meeting, you should come with me to get something to eat! Byakkun, come with me and we can—"

Byakushi interrupted her mid-rant by shoving a pastry in her mouth. The pastry wasn't bad, but Yachiru couldn't help being mildly offending that Byakushi had avoided replying. Not even his usual one-word answer for everything, _no_.

She would have to be more devious next time she tried to ask him out.

* * *

The next day, Yachiru went to Byakushi's house on her new scooter. It had been a recent birthday present from Ikkaku and she couldn't wait to try it out in the long corridors at Kuchiki manor. And of course, she wanted to attract Byakushi's attention.

After a few minutes, she did indeed manage to attract Byakushi's attention. Even if it was just to ask her what she was doing and why she was doing it in his house, he had at least deigned her with a verbal reply today. This was progress.

After Yachiru had sufficiently entertained herself with her new scooter and taken full advantage of the long hallways, she went in search of Byakushi.

Yachiru was quite familiar with Kuchiki manor. It had been her, after all, who had discovered a handful of secret passages around the estate and inside the manor. It had also been her who had created numerous other secret passages all over the inside and outside of the house. These allowed her free access to any part of the manor at any time without been seen. How else would she be able to continue her nighttime adventures with the koi in Byakushi's koi pond?

Yachiru sought out Byakushi. She found him in a room having a conversation with Ichigo. Ichigo seemed rather uncomfortable with the conversation, fidgeting slightly under Byakushi's haughty gaze. Yachiru decided it would be the most worthwhile to save Ichigo. And it would be the perfect opportunity to annoy Byakushi; she couldn't pass that up.

Yes, for the moment, Yachiru would save Ichigo from the imposing presence of Byakushi. She could always come back later to annoy him some more.

* * *

The next time she saw him was later that day in another fukutaicho meeting. Apparently Renji was still missing: Byakushi was attending, much to Yachiru's delight. She hoped she could get him to talk to her today.

When Yachiru spoke of her proposition to give a banana as the reward for anyone willing to do some of the eleventh division's paperwork, Byakushi surprised her by voicing his opinion:

"The banana is a nutrient-rich fruit. It is certainly a worthy choice as a prize."

"Yay! Byakushi can talk today!" cried Yachiru.

Or maybe his verbal response was only due to the fact that he was sitting too far away from Yachiru to shut her up via pastry today.

The meeting dragged on and Yachiru grew bored with the proceedings. She amused herself instead by imagining how she could succeed with Byakushi. She plotted and she dreamed. She recalled the look on his face as he spoke, defending her choice of a banana. His long, black, luxurious eyelashes that framed his clear grey eyes, burning with a silent dispassionate fury…

Yes, there was absolutely no question about it. Yachiru had picked the right guy.

* * *

Byakuya Kuchiki was sitting at his desk engrossed in paperwork when Yachiru came to visit him.

"Byakushi!" She explained, approaching his desk. "I wanted to ask you if—"

She was cut off suddenly by a small strawberry tart, expertly shoved into her mouth mid-phrase. How rude! She was going to ask him a question and yet again, he interrupted her with a pastry without even looking up from his paperwork. Once Yachiru had swallowed her tart, Yachiru replied reproachfully.

"That wasn't very nice Byakkun, I was going to ask you something!"

Byakushi raised his gaze ever so slowly from his paperwork to fix her with his burning, imperious gaze. He did not deign to reply. Unfazed, Yachiru continued.

"Byakushi, I was going to ask you out," Yachiru stated. "It's lunch time and so we should go get something to eat together. Let's go get something to eat together!"

"No." This was the classic Byakushi response, thought Yachiru. She walked around behind his desk and pulled on his sleeve.

"Please? We can even skip the meal and just get dessert if you'd like."

"Kusajishi Fukutaicho. It is not my intention to honor your request."

"If you refuse," remarked Yachiru, "I will just have to convince you."

Yachiru suddenly launched herself at Byakushi, reaching up and seizing the kenseikan from his hair. Before he had time to react, both pieces of the kenseikan had been thrown out of the open window into the garden below.

Thinking that she had probably annoyed him enough for the time being, Yachiru was rapidly retreating from his office when he caught up to her. Before she could leave, Byakushi seized her by the front of her robes, lifting her up and pressing her against the wall so that they were nearly on eye level.

"You will go and get that, Kusajishi Fukutaicho," he intoned threateningly, "Right now."

"But Byakkun," replied Yachiru, eyes wide with feigned innocence, "you look so much prettier without it."

"If you do not comply with my request," he breathed, leaning in to whisper menacingly in her ear, "I will make you regret it."

Maybe it was his eyes shining with furious passion that did it. Or maybe it was his beautiful hair falling around his face unencumbered by the kenseikan. Or his soft voice that whispered seductively albeit menacingly in her ear. Or maybe it was the fact that he had her pressed up against his office wall suspended by the front of her robes and she was running short on oxygen. Overwhelmed by his presence, Yachiru acted without thinking.

She leaned forward and placed her lips on the side of his face, on his jaw line just below his ear. He must have been too surprised to react immediately. Yachiru was able to keep her slightly-parted lips on his jaw, sucking forcefully, for at least three full seconds before he reacted, releasing his hold on her robes and letting her slide to the floor as he rapidly pulled away from her.

"Get out of my office!" He yelled, two bright spots of color appearing on his cheeks, his hand flying to the small already-bruising area on his jaw line.

"Don't worry, I'll be back later!" Yachiru called, blowing him a kiss over her shoulder, fleeing from his office as he reached for Senbonzakura.

Once she was safely outside, Yachiru smiled. Even if she hadn't exactly been successful with her original plan, what had happened had exceeded her expectations. She had managed to break through Byakushi's calm and collected exterior. She had had him furious and yelling. She had even managed to make him blush.

Looking around for the kenseikan that had to have landed somewhere in this general area, Yachiru thought about her most recent encounter with Byakushi. She was happy that she had had the chance to bite his cheek. That mark would be difficult to cover up and would probably not fade for days. And his hair had smelled nice too, like cherry blossoms. Yachiru decided that she liked being that close to him. It excited her in strange ways. She couldn't wait to try something like that again.

Picking up the discarded kenseikan and pocketing it, Yachiru dreamed and she plotted. Next time, she told herself, she would not run away so easily. She would play with him and when she won, she would hold him down and maybe bite him again. And she would force him to start enjoying her company. Maybe if she played with him roughly enough, she would even be able to convince him to go out with her.

One day, Yachiru resolved, smiling, he would be hers.

* * *

A/N: …What? The French speakers among you actually expected this to end the same way that the French version did? I told you last chapter that that wouldn't happen. Also, since this is more than just a oneshot and there are more chapters to come, I couldn't just have it end that easily. Besides, this ending is more fun. Or more frustrating, depending on how you look at it. This way, there will be fallout.

A good portion of the scenes in this chapter were taken directly from the Shinigami Illustrated Picture Book, the series of short skits at the end of certain Bleach episodes. I mean, even if a bit of the dialogue is copied almost word-for-word, I added some back story, modified the order, and gave them context within my story. I'm calling it taking artistic liberty. I drew heavily on two of the ones taking place during fukutaicho meetings, one with Yachiru rampaging around Kuchiki mansion, one of Ichigo and Byakuya having a conversation, and another one of Yachiru wreaking havoc on Byakuya's koi pond. If anyone is interested in watching the originals without sorting through all of the episodes to find them, just search Byakuya and Yachiru on youtube and you'll find them, no problem. My Yachiru's personality is based heavily on her actions in these skits, although in my story, she is older than she looks, quite cunning, can hold her alcohol, and is actually older than Hitsugaya.

Also, many thanks to Erin Kamikaze and Roussette (vf) for reviewing!

Next chapter: Rumors, paperwork, feathers, koi, and things _really_ heat up. I'm also thinking about including a HitsuMatsu cameo, what do you think?

Until next time,  
-Kitakana


	3. The Fallout

**Chapter 3: The fallout**

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Bleach is not mine. Neither is Byakuya Kuchiki, however much I may wish that that were the case. Ah well, at least I get to play with them a bit.

* * *

Byakuya Kuchiki sat in his office, pondering what had befallen him and plotting revenge. That pink-haired demon would pay for what she had done to him. No one got away with stealing his valuable heirloom kenseikan. Not to mention the, umm, bite mark that he was prominently sporting on his jaw line. She. Would. Pay. For. This.

A knock sounded on his office door.

"Come in," Byakuya replied with resignation.

"I have these papers for you from the tenth division, Kuchiki Taicho," said Renji, entering the office. "I just need you to sign them so that…"

Renji trailed off looking at Byakuya.

"You changed your hair," he commented, surprised.

"Hnn."

"Taicho, is that…?" Renji trailed off, indicating Byakuya's face.

"Finish that sentence and you're dead, Abarai Fukutaicho."

"Yes sir," Renji replied, averting his eyes. He deposited a file on his taicho's desk and hurriedly retreated from the office.

Outside of the office, Renji leaned heavily against the nearest wall. He was stunned. Not only was his taicho missing his precious ever-present hair ornaments, but he could have sworn that that was a hickey on his cheek. Byakuya Kuchiki without his kenseikan and with a very visible hickey—the world must be coming to an end.

* * *

Later that afternoon in the tenth division, a stressed taicho asked his fukutaicho if she had received the completed paperwork from the sixth division yet.

"I couldn't get the paperwork," replied Matsumoto, "because when I went to look for Renji, I found him passed out on his way back from delivering the files to Kuchiki Taicho. When I managed to wake him up, he told me the most surprising story!"

"Uhhuhh," Hitsugaya replied, somewhat distracted by the pile of paperwork in front of him.

"But Taichoooo!" she whined, "Kuchiki Taicho wasn't wearing his kenseikan. And do you know what else Renji saw?"

"I don't have time this Matsumoto."

Matsumoto continued as if he hadn't spoken. "He had a hickey on his neck! Someone gave Kuchiki Taicho a hickey!"

Momentarily distracted from his work by this news, Hitsugaya looked up at the fukutaicho standing in front of his desk. "Really?"

"I wonder how they managed that. It had to have been very difficult, I mean, unless he let himself get marked voluntarily…"

"There is no way any self-respecting taicho would stay allow themselves to be visibly marked in such a way, voluntarily or otherwise."

"Are you sure Taicho?" Matsumoto replied, leaning forward across his desk and positioning herself so that her assets were shoved forward right into his line of vision. Hitsugaya's precious pile of paperwork teetered dangerous. "Would you like me to test that theory for you?"

"Matsumoto…"

"It doesn't have to be anywhere visible," she said, reaching forward to pull down the front of his robes, "I can do it here if you'd like…"

The precariously teetering pile of paperwork collapsed over the side of the desk, sending freshly-written reports flying.

"MATSUMOTO!"

* * *

It had now been about a day since Yachiru had marked Byakuya Kuchiki and already the rumors were flying.

"Have you seen Kuchiki Taicho today? I heard that he changed his hairstyle."

"I heard," whispered another hushed voice, "that someone left a hickey on his neck."

"No! He would never let anyone do that!"

"I'm just passing on what I heard."

"Has anyone actually seen him today?"

"I bet that's just another rumor. No one could possibly get close enough to give him a hickey. And even if they could, he'd kill them before they could try anything."

"I hear that he's having a torrid love affair with someone!"

"No!"

Yachiru smiled, listening to all of the gossip spreading around Seireitei. Operation Byakushi was succeeding quite well.

* * *

Later that night, Yachiru went on a mission. Her mission involved using one of her secret tunnels to get onto the grounds of Kuchiki manor unseen. Silently and with the ease of someone who frequently illicitly entered the private grounds of a noble household in the dead of night, Yachiru emerged from her secret passage onto the grounds of Kuchiki manor.

She headed straight for Byakushi's beloved koi pond. She watched them swim lazily about, selecting her prey. The largest koi, a grey and orange speckled beauty, looked like it would be big enough.

Yachiru had a plan. Yachiru set a trap. She watched and waited patiently for her prey. When it neared the surface, Yachiru made her move.

After the lengthy and somewhat difficult procedure was completed, Yachiru threw the koi back into its pond and watched it swim hurriedly away. This was going to be great, she thought to herself, smiling. She couldn't wait to see the results.

It was a beautiful, clear night with bright stars lighting up the grounds. Yachiru decided it couldn't hurt to look around a little more before returning to the eleventh division. She wandered around for a time, admiring the well-tended flowers and bushes.

As if from out of nowhere, Yachiru felt a gust of wind right behind her. Before she could turn around, she felt a cold, damp cloth press over her nose and mouth from behind. Naughty Byakushi, Yachiru thought as the world tilted up to meet her and everything went black.

* * *

When Yachiru awoke, the first thing she registered was that she was cold. She opened her eyes to a chilly night and a starry sky. The second thing she registered was that she couldn't move much. She wriggled around, trying to establish her range of mobility. It wasn't much. She appeared to be tied down to something.

Her wriggling did help her establish the source of the cold. It appeared that her robes had ridden up while she had been indisposed, a large strip of bare stomach exposed to the chill night air. She was tied down to something cold and stony, probably a bench. Hmm. Whoever had tied her up had done a thorough job of it. Her arms were extended above her head and securely roped in place. Her legs had also been strapped down. She realized that she would not be getting out of this too easily on her own.

She felt cool air brush against her exposed stomach and shuddered. It tickled. Again, air and something else brushed against her stomach. Normally she did not mind the sensation of being tickled, but this was a bit creepy. She squirmed.

She felt the tickling thing brush against her stomach again. Her head couldn't move enough to look for the source of the tickling, but something was definitely tickling her on purpose. She squirmed more, but she was too securely bound to wriggle away from the tickling.

"You will tell me where it is," a low and menacing voice spoke into her ear.

Ah. That was what this was about. The absurdity of the situation was not lost to her. Calm and collected Byakuya Kuchiki had attacked an innocent young woman, drugged her, tied her down, and was now torturing her with a feather to glean the whereabouts of his precious kenseikan. Ok, well, maybe she wasn't _that _innocent, but still.

"No!" replied Yachiru, happy she no longer carried the kenseikan on her person.

The tickling began again. Slowly and torturously, the tip of the feather brushed the length of her stomach. Yachiru squirmed. She could deal with torture, she had endured far worse. She was the fukutaicho of the eleventh after all, she could deal with pain, but this… this wasn't exactly pain. Yachiru squirmed again.

Abruptly the feather stopped its motion. Yachiru held her breath. Suddenly she jolted, feeling two fingers trail slowly across her exposed midriff. She shivered; her stomach felt like it was falling out from underneath her. As the fingers continued their leisurely exploration of her stomach, Yachiru felt her body seize up.

"Tell me where it is," he repeated seductively in her ear.

Yachiru felt herself cracking. This was actually torture. Yachiru had been tickled to tears by members of the eleventh before, but it hadn't been like this. This was seductively overwhelming, flooding her senses and depriving her of the ability to think straight. Yachiru's body jerked involuntarily as Byakushi began tracing circles across her stomach with his fingertips. She felt herself giving in despite herself.

"Go out with me," she gasped out between giggles.

The tickling continued with a passion, the fingers increasing their rhythm. Byakushi placed the fingers of his second hand on her stomach as well, tracing painfully slow circles across her exposed skin. As his fingers ghosted across her rib cage, Yachiru couldn't help herself any longer.

"Alright! Stop! I'll tell you where they are," she gasped. The pace of the fingers slowed to a painful, aggravatingly slow tickle. "If you go on a date with me."

Ultimatum having been issued, Yachiru bit down on her bottom lip to keep herself from laughing. It seemed like a fair trade, the kenseikan for the advancement of Operation Byakushi.

"Fine." The fingers stopped their torturous movement. Taken aback by his response, Yachiru stopped her writhing.

"You will really go on a date with me?"

"I will not repeat myself." Byakushi began to untie her from the bench.

"Okay! You can pick me up in front of my division, tomorrow at six!" She said once she was finally free. Byakushi nodded his concurrence. Yachiru leaned up towards Byakushi. In a hushed voice, she whispered to him the answer to his question.

"I put your kenseikan in your koi pond. It took forever to get that koi to swallow it, but—"

"Get out of my garden!" Byakushi yelled reaching for Senbonzakura, instantly furious. "Now!"

Yachiru smirked as she fled. Again, she had managed to break his calm, cool exterior. Sure, she had given up the location of the kenseikan, but he would have trouble getting to it. And she had scored a date with him! She couldn't wait.

She had certainly picked the right guy. When he wanted something, he could be down right scary. And seductive as hell. If this was how he treated his enemies, she couldn't begin to imagine how he would treat a girlfriend. I mean, wow. No question about it, Byakushi was the love of her life. Tomorrow would be an exciting day.

* * *

Omake: In which Rukia eats lunch.

Rukia made it back to Kuchiki manor in time to each lunch. To her disappointment, Nii-Sama was absent. He usually took time to eat, but it was not unheard of for him to miss a meal. Rukia sighed. He had spent the past few days hauled up alone in his office; he must be working really hard on something. Rukia decided that she could go ahead and start eating without him.

The meal was well-prepared as usual. The main dish was especially good. Rukia had never tasted anything like it before—she wondered absently what kind of fish it was.

* * *

A/N: This chapter just kind of wrote itself. Following the oneshot that inspired this story, I was fishing around for plot and this was the result. More dialogue and more events. Also, HitsuMatsu office scene because I felt like it, it seemed to fit with the story, and I've been reading lots of HitsuMatsu lately. What do you think?

The omake is a drabble (100 words exactly!) that came to mind and demanded to be written. It's okay tacked onto the end of this chapter, right?

Things are really heating up for our favorite couple. I had a lot of fun writing that bit and hoped you had as much fun reading it.

Next chapter: The much anticipated date, desserts, and some unusually-colored koi. Also, considering adding in another short HitsuMatsu bit, what do you think?

Until next time,  
-Kitakana


	4. Misadventures with Yachiru

**Chapter 4: Misadventures with Yachiru**

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Bleach is not mine. Neither is Byakuya Kuchiki, however much I may wish that that were the case. Ah well, at least I get to play with them a bit.

* * *

In preparation for her date with Byakuya Kuchiki, Yachiru had decided that it would be best to enlist some help. That was what had brought her to the tenth division office.

"Whitey-chan, have you seen your fukutaicho anywhere?" she asked, "I need her help with something."

"It's Hitsugaya Taicho," he replied automatically, scowling. He then pointed to the couch on the other side of the office.

"Thanks!" Yachiru rounded the couch and poked the sleeping Matsumoto. Matsumoto sat up, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

She then listened, intrigued, as Yachiru explained exactly what she wanted help with. Deciding that it was a worthy cause, Matsumoto got to work. It took her a few minutes. Yachiru wasn't exactly the easiest person to work with, but Matsumoto was up for a challenge.

After Yachiru left, prepared, Matsumoto turned to Hitsugaya.

"See? She's old enough to have no problem going on dates already," Matsumoto said accusingly, "Why do you still think you're too young be seen out on an actual date with anyone?"

"Matsumoto…"

"And I told you to stop calling me Matsumoto when we're not talking about work and there's no one else around."

"Matsu—Rangiku, we've talked about this."

"It doesn't have to be a fancy date, just something!"

"We'll see."

Matsumoto sighed. He was so infuriating sometimes. How come he couldn't just take the initiative and run with it like Yachiru? When Yachiru went for a guy, she went full out and got what she wanted. Why couldn't her taicho just be open about everything going on between them like that? Matsumoto sighed again with resignation. She supposed she'd known what she was getting into when she had decided to go after the youngest officer of the Gotei 13. Oh well, she thought, he was definitely worth it.

* * *

At nearly six o'clock that evening, Yachiru waited impatiently for her date to arrive. Matsumoto had not done much, but what she had done had worked wonders for Yachiru's appearance.

Yachiru's robes were pulled low in the front and opened to reveal more skin than usual and accentuate her collarbones. Her eyes were lined with kohl, making them look bigger and seem to sparkle more than usual. To complete her look, Matsumoto had given her some shiny lip gloss exactly the same shade as Yachiru's cheeks. Miraculously unlike the usual effect of makeup when Yachiru applied it herself, this made Yachiru look older. Or at least, less child-like.

And then he was there. He looked the same as ever, calm, cool and unruffled, but with one noticeable difference. The kenseikan had been repositioned to the other side of his head, leaving his hair to fall around the other side of his face in an attempt to hide the still fairly visible yellowing mark on his jaw line.

"Good evening, Kusajishi Fukutaicho," he greeted calmly.

"Byakushi!" Yachiru cried, smiling widely, "You showed up!"

"Come. Let us go," he motioned for her to follow him.

"Where are we going?"

"To eat." He turned around and began walking away. Yachiru hurried to catch up.

He led her to a small and very fancy-looking restaurant on the edge of Seireitei that served western-style food. They were seated at a table in quiet corner of the restaurant as far away from other clients as possible (as per Byakuya's request). Yachiru perused the menu with interested.

"Look at these pictures, Byakkun," Yachiru commented to him, "These desserts look really small. I don't think that one dessert would fill me up."

"Hnn." He did not look up from his menu to reply. The menu was in French with poorly-translated somewhat unappetizing sounding Japanese captions, he thought.

After a few minutes, their waiter appeared to ask if they had any questions before they ordered.

"What is the largest dessert on your menu?" Yachiru asked. "I don't think that one dessert would be enough for a meal."

Ignoring the waiter's surprised looked, Yachiru carried on. "Well? Which one is it?"

"It is the _crêpe flambée au Calvados avec des pommes et du caramel au beurre salé._" The waiter responded. "That is a delicious French-style flat pancake filled with traditional Brittany salted butter caramel sauce and topped with whipped cream and apples flamed with calvados liqueur."

"Huh? I'll take that then, some of those little cake things, the orange ice cream, some of the gooey fruit paste things, and one of the mushy chocolate cookies," Yachiru said, indicating several pictures on the menu.

Apparently this waiter was not used to guests of Yachiru's particularities. If Byakuya Kuchiki laughed at things, he would have laughed at the stunned, incredulous look on the waiter's face. As it was, only years of cultivating his carefully calm exterior permitted him to retain his composure.

"Please serve the lady as she requests," he said as it became clear that the waiter was still uncertain about her order. "And I will have the _carré d'agneau_."

While they waited for their food, Yachiru chattered on about nothing and everything. Byakuya Kuchiki was content just to watch her and tune her out. …Was she wearing makeup?

"…So what would do you think about that?" She asked.

"Sure," Byakuya replied on autopilot, not entirely sure what he was agreeing to.

Going on a date with Yachiru was… out of the ordinary, thought Byakuya as their food arrived. While the perturbed waiter poured white rum over the small cakes on one of Yachiru's five plates of dessert, Byakuya reflected that he probably should have at least steered her away from ordering exclusively desserts with a high alcohol content. As she ate her _babas au rhum_ and the ice cream flavored with _Grand Marnier_ liqueur, Byakuya thought that maybe, just maybe, going on a date with her wasn't so bad. At least she kept things far from boring.

When they had finished their meal, or in Yachiru's case, dessert, Yachiru dragged him out of the restaurant. She was, if possible, acting more exuberant than usual—he really shouldn't have let her eat all of those alcohol-rich desserts. When he asked where they were going, Yachiru told him that he should remember, he had agreed after all. Ah, this must have been what he had absently agreed to while Yachiru chattered on. Saying that they would be there soon, Yachiru led him on.

She led him to one of the bars near the eleventh division. Byakuya sighed, resigning himself to a night of god-knows-what.

Byakuya was thankful that this was a small, out of the way bar and that because it was still fairly early, it was empty. If not, he wasn't sure how he would have been able to stand being seen in public, drinking in some random bar with none other than Yachiru Kushajishi Fukutaicho.

This was a side of the tiny fukutaicho he had not previously experienced. He watched as she walked up to the bar and ordered a large jug of sake with the air of someone who frequented the establishment. A whole jug of sake? This couldn't end well. He should probably just leave while he still could. But for some reason, there was a small part of him that was curious to see how the evening would turn out if he stayed. And Yachiru had already bought drinks—it would be rude to leave just yet.

"Byakushi," she said, approaching him bearing two bowls and the jug of sake, "Drink for you!" She was positively beaming with enthusiasm as she led him to a small table.

He did not reply. He did not know what to say. For the first time in a very long time, Byakuya decided he could allow himself this one, crazy thing. He hoped, probably in vain, that it wouldn't have too many repercussions. At least his night would not be boring. With an air of resignation, Byakuya raised his bowl, saluting Yachiru, and took a drink.

* * *

Byakuya was not sure exactly how much time had passed since they had left the bar. He vaguely remembered some stupid drinking game between him and Yachiru involving him talking about himself or having to drink. Because Yachiru was completely open about everything, Byakuya had lost. Badly. He also seemed to remember Renji showing up at some point, pointing and gawking openly at him from behind Matsumoto and Hisagi. Yachiru had just smiled and called for another jug of sake. Had that actually happened?

And how was he still even standing? Better question, how was _Yachiru_ still standing? They had to have drunk six or seven jugs of sake between the two of them. She must have an ungodly high alcohol tolerance, especially for someone her size.

…And where exactly were they?

They had been near the thirteenth division, because that had definitely been Ukitake's koi pond, not his own. Byakuya tried in vain to remember why they had gone there. But he remembered what Yachiru had done. Where had they gotten that hot pink paint again? And the glitter? That would take forever to get out, he reflected absently. After that, they had wandered off to…where?

"Yachiru," Byakuya asked her, "which direction do we go in now?"

"That way!" She grabbed his hand and led him off to…somewhere.

* * *

It had to have taken at least several hours before they arrived back at the eleventh division. Byakuya had tried to shunpo them there at some point, but after the run-in with that large and solid and tree-shaped thing, he had given it up. So he had thereafter relied on Yachiru's directions.

They had spent a lot of time just wandering around, probably aimlessly. Surprisingly, he had actually talked with Yachiru and hadn't hated it. They had had conversations. Interesting conversation about things like sake gummy candies, koi species, zanpakuto techniques, French desserts, bonsai cultivation, and cats.

They were discussing who out of the Gotei 13 had the most outrageous hair style when they finally arrived at the eleventh division.

Byakuya led Yachiru to her barracks, preparing to wish her goodnight. He led her up the stairs and up to the door to her fukutaicho quarters.

"Yachiru Fukutaicho," he said, "I wish you a goodnight and I thank you for an unusually exciting evening."

"Oh Byakkun," She replied, hopping up onto the railing next to the stairs and bringing them to nearly eye-level. "The pleasure was mine. You can be really fun, you know? Especially after a few jugs of sake."

"Goodnight Yachiru," he said, turning to leave.

Before he had the opportunity to step away from her, Yachiru leaned forward and grabbed the front of his robes, preventing him from stepping away. What was she up to now?

"Bya-chan!" Oh no, she was calling him _that_ now. "You're really beautiful, you know that?"

"Beautiful is not an adjective that should be applied to men, Yachiru Fukutaicho," he replied, "It is much better applied to women like you."

He didn't know what made him do what he did next. In retrospect, it was probably the many bottles of alcohol still coursing through his system.

"Yachiru, you are beautiful," he said, and leaned down to press a kiss delicately to her forehead.

Before he could really pull away, Yachiru had her small arms wrapped around his neck, holding him in place. He found himself staring into her face, now on his eye-level. The very small amount of brain left to him following his sake intake and Yachiru's actions told him that this was a very bad idea. He should remove himself from this situation at once before things escalated.

"But so are you, Byakuya," she said, looking up at him with her wide, sparkling eyes.

Before Byakuya had a chance to react to her calling him by his given name, she had accosted him. She pulled herself up by her arms still around his neck. And then her lips were on his. His heart jolted a beat. She was kissing him. He, Byakuya Kuchiki, sixth division taicho and head of the Kuchiki clan, was being kissed by the flamboyant demon child of the eleventh division. And he was too drunk to be objecting as he should.

She was accosting him. Her lips were ravaging his. This was a savage kiss, more about dominance than romance. And she was winning. Byakuya had never been kissed like this. He had had his share of romance, I mean, he had been married, but this was something else. He was being dominated by a tiny demon child who was ravaging his lips. …Was that her tongue?

As abruptly as she had accosted him, she pulled away.

"Goodnight Byakkun!" She said, releasing him. "Next time, I get to pick the place and I'm paying, okay? Sleep well!"

He could do nothing but stare at the fiendish creature before him as she jumped down from the railing and entered her rooms, slamming the door behind her.

For a few seconds, Byakuya stood motionless staring at the closed door. Had that really, actually just happened? He was in a numb state of semi-shock. It would be best to believe that that had not just actually happened.

Byakuya turned and fled.

* * *

A/N: I had fun with the menu for restaurant. It was inspired by a very gastronomic menu I had to translate into English to help some students prepare for an international waiting competition (which my student won, by the way). If anyone's interested, just search _L'assiette niçoise _and you'll find it. There are some dishes that just don't translate out of French. _Pâte à fruit_, anyone? (It's like a cross between gum drops and jam covered in sugar and served by itself as a dessert.) The things I learn teaching in a cooking school. This is what I do in real life, I coach French high schoolers to present fancy French dishes in English to Anglophone clients and to the make the translations sound somewhat edible. *Sigh*

Anyways, this chapter. My belief on writing scenes which include drunk people is that they write themselves the best while in a similar mindset. So, that is how this happened.

Next/probably last chapter: Rumors abound, Byakuya worries because the eleventh division is the eleventh division, and probably more koi.

Until next time,  
-Kitakana


End file.
